Last week I wrote about the power for “Yes,” and how I try to say yes whenever I can. In this follow-up piece I look at reasons to say “No.”
My least favorite word is “No.” However, over the years I learned it is much more important than “Yes” when used appropriately. If you’re offered a gig that doesn’t offer sufficient reward and you say yes, you just diminish your value. If you don’t value yourself enough, why should your employer or colleagues? Sufficient reward doesn’t always mean money, it can mean working with someone new that you respect or admire thereby creating new relationships and opportunities. It can be a great credit that would further your career, for example working on a genre which you are not known for. It could mean working on a passion project that makes you happy, a project that satisfies the artist in you. And yes, sometimes it just means getting paid well. Whatever your reason to take a project, it should offer a meaningful reward and if the project doesn’t offer sufficient reward, say no.
I’m also a big believer in taking on new challenges and stepping up to meet them, which might seem contrary to the idea of saying no. Whenever possible, bite off a little more than you can chew, and figure out how to do it anyway. Sometimes that means bringing in more experienced people to help. Sometimes it just means working harder and longer hours to get it done. Whatever the case, do what you have to do to make it happen.
But sometimes you may be offered a gig where you’d be in way over your head. You’re simply not ready. Sometimes you could be coming off a grueling project and burned out, leaving you unable to do your best on another project right away. Sometimes the schedule conflicts with pre-planned family events or a vacation. As tempting as it is, as enticing as the prospect of that project might be – financially, the credit, the opportunity – if you’re not ready you should say no. Taking on something that you are clearly not ready for, or if you are burned out, will most likely end in disaster.
If you take on more than you can handle, you will likely fail and hurt your reputation. I think it’s better to turn down the wrong gig, leaving you open for the right one, than to take the wrong gig and fail.
Early in my career I was offered Six Feet Under. The temptation was enormous, but the challenges were beyond my capacity at the time. Creatively, logistically and in terms of experience, I knew I wasn’t ready for it and politely turned it down sighting the logistic issues. Two weeks later I was hired as assistant music editor on Training Day, which was a much better fit for where I was in my career.
There are times in your career, where saying “no” is the smart move. However, when declining an opportunity, do your best to make it feel like you wish you could say yes, but you just can’t. For example “I’d love to work on this, but I’m afraid I’m already booked on something else so I’ll have to decline. I’d love to work with you on the next one.” It doesn’t matter if you’re booked on something else or not. Something else could be a vacation in Hawaii, spending time with your family, practicing your instrument or your golf swing – it can be anything. It’s nobody’s business why you said no. Just make sure you’re gracious about it and leave the door open for future projects.
If you have any questions, feel free to contact me, or add a comment.