shieroz

20 life & Career Lessons From My Time as a Soldier

On July 23, 1990, exactly 30 years ago, today I became a solider. I wanted to be a fighter pilot but didn’t make the cut and going into service I had no idea where I’d end up. The first day was overwhelming. It was a blur. I remember being issued a kit bag, my uniform, getting shots, being shuffled around from one area to the next, setting up tents, and generally just trying to keep up and not get in trouble and wondering where I’d end up. Over the next couple of days, we were shuffled around and given various presentations on various units where one had to volunteer and pass tests and assessments to get into those units. Different units had different requirements – if you wanted to be a Naval officer you had to go through X, if you wanted to be a paratrooper you had to go through Y etc.

I went through rigorous testing over several days to try and get into an elite Naval unit that specialized in underwater operations. We started as a group of 50 or candidates (I believe there were 3 or 4 groups and only a handful of candidates made it). I was determined to make it. 4 or 5 days later, on the final day of exhausting, physically and mentally challenging days, there were only 3 of us. When we were given our next grueling assignment that morning, one quit, and it was just 2 of us. It was one of the toughest days of my life. Sadly, I sprained my ankle a few hours in while running on the beach in ankle deep water while carrying heavy gear and that was the end of it for me. I was pulled out; I didn’t make it. I was devastated.

I was sent back to the recruitment base and most of the other volunteer units were no longer recruiting, they had all the recruits they needed, and my options were limited. It was a huge disappointment. But there was still one unit that was recruiting volunteers – it was a ranger unit under the military intelligence branch. It was either that, or I would be randomly assigned to one of the “regular” units, so I volunteered and was accepted. Basic training was 3 months. It was hard. But I think all of us 18-year-old boys grew up and matured way beyond the 3 months that had passed.

Following basic training was advanced training. I think it was another 3 or 4 months of specialized training to learn the specifics of our jobs. There was a lot of classroom work, and we were now treated as soldiers rather than as recruits, it was a huge improvement over basic training. Those who would graduate top of class would get to choose which in which post they wish to serve; the rest would be sent wherever they were needed. We would be sent either to outposts along the border, or to the West Bank or the Gaza strip. In the outposts we would basically be looking across the border into neighboring Lebanon, Syria, Jordan, or Egypt and collecting intelligence – literally securing our borders. In the West Bank and Gaza Strip we would be participating in various operations to try to identify and apprehend terrorists. There was one outpost that was considered the top post, only the best graduates were stationed there, and they only had room for one new ranger at the time. I was determined that I would be that one.

When training was over, I had achieved my goal of finishing at the top of my class and I requested I be stationed there. My request was granted and I spent the next several months at one of the most remote outposts in the country, at the highest elevation in the nation with a view stretching from the Lebanon border to a huge swath of Syria, Northern Jordan and about half of my own country of Israel.

I was there when the gulf war broke out. I remember helplessly watching SCUD missiles rain down on my own country. I remember watching Patriot anti-missile systems trying to intercept them and the excitement of watching that yellow streak shoot up towards the yellow streak falling down followed by the heartbreaking disappointment when it missed its target and the missiles continued down to earth. I remember watching the news on TV after the missiles fell and one directly hit a building less than a mile away from my house. Luckily nobody was killed, though the building was all but demolished and people were injured (many years later while in LA I met a fellow Israeli musician who was a very accomplished and well known musician and found out he lived an that building and was one of the people who was rescued from the rubble of what used to be his home, small world). I remember a few weeks later going home on leave and seeing a large crack in on of the walls of the house – it was from the shock of the missile that exploded not that far.

I remember being snowed in by an unusually strong and long-lasting storm and we couldn’t be resupplied as we would normally be every week, so we had to eat rations that we had in case of emergency. They were supposed to be replaced every 5 years, but the dates on the boxes revealed these rations were older than we were. The canned meats were uneatable, but the chocolate and crackers were still good, so that’s what we ate, crackers and chocolate that were made and boxed up 2-3 years before we were born!

A few months later our outpost was attacked, and I got my first experience with combat. It was terrifying, confusing, and overwhelming. I lost a friend that night. He was a reservist who was due to end his month-long stint at the outpost and was supposed to head home the next morning. He left behind a pregnant wife who would give birth to a girl that would never know her farther, his parents, a brother, and a sister not to mention his extended family and friends. He was only 26.

Shortly after that experience I had left my outpost to train as an airborne ranger. About 400 of my fellow rangers applied, only 8 were accepted to training, only 3 of us graduated. The army only needed 2 at the time. Because of my combat experience and other considerations, it was decided I would be temporarily stationed in Gaza for a couple of months to serve as an operations officer for our Gaza unit. I forget why they didn’t have an officer in place, but I remember there was an officer in training who was due to graduate in a couple of months and so even though I was not an officer I was temporarily assigned the rights and responsibilities of an officer and given the job until it could be filled by the officer in training.

During my time in Gaza I witnessed first hand what it’s like to be a Palestinian living under Israeli rule. I was attacked, yelled at, cussed at, had rocks thrown at me, generally we were not welcome there. This was years before Israel pulled out of Gaza. Shortly before I was due to finish my temporary assignment I was injured and had a bad concussion. I spent about 3 weeks in hospital before being sent back to my unit. My spot at the outpost had been filled so I wasn’t going back there. Instead I was sent to the West Bank to serve with my fellow rangers there for a few months and I would then be sent to replace an airborne ranger that was going to be retired a little early. That was the plan.

But life often has a way of interfering with plans, and while in the West Bank I experienced combat again. This time, thankfully none of my comrades were killed, but the experience shook me none-the-less. I was also struggling with injuries I sustained previously and had been trying to downplay, and doctors realized I had torn tendons and ligaments in my ankles. As soon as this diagnosis was found, I was deemed unfit for combat duties and sent back to the recruitment base where I had begun my service to be reassigned in a non-combat position.

I was devastated. This was not at all how I imagined things would be. I was supposed to be an airborne ranger in just a couple of months. I planned to apply for officer training and to go on to be an officer and who knows how far I would take it. I was very depressed but decided to apply for officer training anyway – I might not be a combat soldier anymore, but I could still be an officer in a non-combat position. I took the required assessment and the results came back – try again later. I wasn’t flat out rejected, but it was determined I’m not ready for officer training at that time (in retrospect, I was in such a low place I bet they saw how despondent I was in the psychological testing) so they told me I can try again in a few months. Another setback. It was tough.

Because of my experience thus far, the officer in charge of placing soldiers didn’t want to just give me any menial job that happened to be available. So, he kept me around for a while, waiting for an appropriate opportunity to open up. I hated it. I was bored out of my mind, I was depressed, and I was struggling to come to terms with my reality that I was no longer a combat soldier.

After a while I befriended some of the solders who were serving as clerks in various logistics positions. I would hang out with them in their air-conditioned offices and watch them work. I realized they were printing out huge weekly reports, and then manually going through them to narrow them down to only certain information that was then manually summarized and presented to their superiors. I thought it seemed very inefficient and being bored and also having a bit of a background with computers I started asking questions. It wasn’t long before I figured out how to streamline the process and make it significantly more efficient.

This didn’t go unnoticed, and I was called in to the commander’s office. He chewed me up a bit for sticking my nose in where it didn’t belong. But then he also told me how impressed he was and that he’s going to keep me around until he can find a good fit for me where I can be useful. Even though I wasn’t officially part of his unit, I was in a holding pattern waiting to be assigned somewhere, he did put me to work and having stuff to do helped make the days go by faster.

I don’t remember how many weeks I was there, but eventually he called me in and told me he had found an assignment for me. I was to become the driver for a colonel who was head of logistics for central command. A driver! A chauffeur! Seriously? After I’ll I’ve been through and have done, I was going to drive around some guy and then just sit around and wait? I was furious. But he had made his decision and that was that. This was the army after all, and unless one is given an illegal order, one must follow orders.

So off I went to central command in Jerusalem to meet my new commander. He seemed like a nice enough guy, but I hated being there and hated being reduced to “just a driver.” I felt like I was worth more. As we drove around the country from one meeting to the next, we would chat, and we really liked each other. Ika, my commander, would tell me about his wife and kids, he’d ask me how I was doing, about my background and experiences, and that made things more tolerable. But I was still very frustrated and bored out of my mind. So, as I did when I was waiting to be reassigned, I started snooping around and looking for things to do.

I noticed we had been given a computer for the office that was supposed to help with our filing system, but filing was still being done manually. Retrieving anything was a pain in the butt, and too often the secretaries couldn’t find materials that were filed. It was a mess. So, I started looking into it and learned that the army had a very specific (and surprisingly efficient) filing system that wasn’t being followed in our office. I learned the system, got the computer up and running and started re-filing years of paperwork and entering the necessary info in the computer. I trained the secretaries in how to do it and before long things were well organized and efficient.

I also noticed that every day the colonel would be given a large folder with all of the day’s mail. He’d often go through it in the car while we were driving and he would get frustrated as he went through and find correspondence that was important hiding behind pages of correspondence that he was just cc’d on and wasn’t pressing or important at all (this was before email). One day while he was in a meeting, he left his folder in the car, as he usually would, knowing I’m there watching things. I grabbed the folder and looked through it. I realized there were basically 3 categories of correspondence – letters from the general’s office, actionable letters directed at him, and letters he was cc’d on so he’s in the loop but weren’t directed at him. So, I sorted the correspondence with all the general’s correspondence on top, followed by the actionable stuff and then the cc stuff, and put the folder back on his seat.

When he came back as we drove back to base, I watched him go through the correspondence and there was a lot less moaning and groaning. So, I started doing this every day and noticed it was a more efficient way of getting through things than before. A week or two after starting to do this, I bought dividers and added them to the folder. It was then that he noticed, and it suddenly dawned on him that I had been sorting his mail for a while. I remember him asking me, “have you been sorting my mail?” and I responded that I had been. He then asked if I was responsible for the filing system improvements because he had noticed things were smoother there, too. Again, I responded in the affirmative. He smiled and just got back to doing what he was doing.

Not long after that I was scheduled to have surgery to repair my torn ligaments and tendons, which meant I would be absent for a few weeks and he would need a new driver. He had me interview 3 candidates to replace me, I made my recommendation and he agreed with my choice. My expectation was that after surgery and a recovery period I’d got back to the recruitment base to be reassigned. But that’s not what happened.

Just before I was going to have surgery, he called me into his office and informed me that I was being promoted to become his personal aid, his personal adjunct. As soon as I was back up on my feet I was to report back and manage his office, including the 3 secretaries and the new driver. He visited me at the hospital the day after my surgery, he called weekly to check on my progress. I was in a cast confined to a wheelchair with my leg elevated for 6 weeks, then I had to be on crutches for 6 more weeks. During this time, I was on sick leave and if a solider was on sick leave for 60 days they would automatically be pulled out of their unit and reassigned whenever they were back. I realized I was this was going to happen to me unless we did something, so I requested I be allowed to come back to work as soon as I was on crutches.

I figured as his personal adjunct; I was no longer driving him around. I could hitch a ride with him every day to the base and back since he had a new driver, and I could do my job instead of sitting at home. He agreed and put in a request to have me reinstated, but there was a problem. Because of the location of the base and travelling through the West Bank, I always had to carry a weapon with me. I couldn’t manage a rifle while on crutches, and handguns were only issued to officers and non-commissioned officers. I was a sergeant at the time. My commander reached out to the base commander and asked him to check the armory to see if there were any handguns available for me. He then promoted me to staff-sergeant, which made me eligible to carry a handgun. Now the questions were was there a gun available and could I manage to safely and accurately shoot it while on crutches. There was one handgun in the armory, an old Russian made model that was spoils of war, not standard issues. They had the gun but no ammo for it since it wasn’t standard issue. It was also pretty rusty.

I got the gun, disassembled it, cleaned it, purchased ammo using my own money and hobbled off to the range to see if I could shoot it while on crutches. It wasn’t easy, but after a few attempts (and falling on my ass a few times) I figured out how to position myself and be able to accurately shoot the gun while on crutches. And with that sorted I was back. I spent the rest of my service as his personal adjunct.

My service was scheduled to be complete in July of 1993. Typically, soldiers, especially non-combat soldiers, would be released a little early, so I was expecting to be done around April or May. But there was a huge military exercise coming up in September and that meant a lot of logistics were involved and I was asked if I’d agree to sign on to stay a few months longer. I really didn’t want to. I was ready to move on with my life. I had another ankle surgery scheduled so I politely declined. Shortly after that I was summoned to the general’s office.

You have to understand that in the military generals are more or less gods on earth. This general was a very kind man. I had worked closely with him and mostly his office staff for over a year as the colonel’s aid, so he wasn’t quite as intimidating as he was when we first met, but still he was the general!

I walked into his office to be told he’s waiting for me and to step right in. I had been to his office many times (I was there at least 2-3 times a week) but had never been in his personal chambers – only outside dealing with his secretaries and his personal adjunct. Being ushered into his personal chambers and being told he’s waiting for me was intimidating, to say the least. I walked in, and he looked up from his desk, smiled and simply said “I hear you’re staying with us until after the exercise is finished. Thank you so much, I really appreciate it. I just wanted to say thank you in person. That’ll be all.”

I went back to my office and there was the colonel with a fiendish smile on his face and the paperwork for me to extend my service by a couple of months. I signed and stayed on until September. My next surgery was postponed to just over a week after I was to end my service. I concluded my service on a Friday. As a gift my uncle arranged for me to fly to Frankfurt on Tuesday to meet him, my aunt and my cousin where we would watch Paul McCartney in concert the following day. I went back home on Thursday and was hospitalized on Sunday for a Monday morning surgery.

During my time in service, and the years since looking back I learned a few things in the military that have helped shape who I am and serve me to this day:

1. There’s no such thing as “can’t” only “won’t.” This is basically the military version of Yoda’s “Do or do not, there is no try.” I don’t think I’d be where I am today without having learned that lessons all those years ago. I’ll say it again, there’s no such thing is “can’t” only “won’t.”
2. You can’t do it all alone. You have to have a unit around you. You have to trust your unit, watch their backs and have them watch yours.
3. You’re only as strong as the weakest link in your unit. Make sure you’re as strong a link as you can possibly be. And try to surround yourself by even stronger links.
4. There are no bad soldiers, only bad commanders. Leadership is about taking responsibility; it’s about leading by example. If your subordinates are doing a bad job, you’re not doing a good enough job leading them, supporting them, pushing them to excel…
5. Good leaders lead from the front. They are right there with their unit; they don’t demand anything that they themselves aren’t wiling or able to do.
6. Good leaders have high standards, high demands and inspire, push and support their subordinates to meet those standards and goals.
7. You can’t do everything at once. Assess the situation and identify the most immediate and important issue. If you’re in combat, the most important thing is not getting killed, followed by disabling your enemy. Then you can turn your attention elsewhere. The same is true in life things can get overwhelming with lots going on all at once. Identify the most immediate issue at hand and solve that first. Then identify the next most pressing issue and address that. Before you know it you’ll get through it all
8. Get help. When I was in basic training our commander said there’s no such thing as can’t, nothing is impossible. Someone said, “but sir, what if a task takes 50 hours and we only have an hour to get it done?” Without skipping a beat, the commander responded, “Get 50 people on it.”
9. I can push myself far beyond what I ever imagined humanly possible. You can, too. We all can. It’s all in your head. If you’re determined enough, you’ll find a way to push through anything, physically and mentally.
10. There will be obstacles, there will be setbacks, there will be disappointments. The only difference between success and failure is perseverance and perspective. Sometimes this requires redefining our goals or changing our perspective on how we define success. We have to be flexible enough to recognize when plans need to change, or goals need to be adjusted. Making changes isn’t failure, it isn’t defeat, it’s adaptive. Adapt or die.
11. Sometimes the best thing you can do is keep your mouth shut and do as you’re told.
12. Know your place. Understand where you fit in the hierarchy of any given situation. To use a chess analogy, you may be a king in one instance and a pawn in another, learn the difference and how to recognize it. Don’t act like a king when you’re a pawn and vice-versa.
13. Even the toughest men are vulnerable. Often those with the roughest exterior have the softest interior. Don’t judge.
14. Sometimes we have to do things we don’t want to do. No amount of complaining, procrastinating or avoiding will change that. Just get it done and move on.
15. You can’t be everyone’s friend, you’re not going to be liked by everybody, especially as a leader. Your job is to lead, not to be liked. That doesn’t mean you can’t be both, but never forget your priorities. Better to be effective and respected than ineffective and liked.
16. If something is wroth doing, it’s worth doing well. Always do your best. Always.
17. You rarely have enough time or resources to do the job the way you wish you could. Do the very best you can with what you’ve got under the circumstances. Nobody can expect anything more, you should never accept anything less of yourself.
18. It’s OK to be scared sometimes. The trick is not to let fear paralyze you.
19. No matter how bad tings get, be grateful for what you have.
20. Every day that nobody’s shooting at you is a good day.

Home Recording Basics

It’s a little longer than I planned because I tried to dive deep enough to help you make the best decisions, but not so deep that it’s overwhelming. I also provide lots of links to articles and resources that can help you dig deeper than what I cover here, along with specific gear recommendations. If you’re looking to get started with home recording, I hope this is helpful. Feel free to reach out with any questions.

What Gear Do You Need?

It really doesn’t take that much to get started. Here’s what you’ll need:

1. A computer (maybe).
2. A DAW (Digital Audio Workstation), which is just tech speak for software that allows you to record and create music on your computer (or iOS or Android device).
3. A Microphone.
4. An audio interface, which is how you connect you connect your microphone to your computer.
5. A Microphone Stand.
6. A pair of headphones or earbuds (the ones that came with your phone will do).
7. Some cables.

Something I hear a lot is – “Really? That’s it? Don’t I need a dedicated sound treated room, isn’t there more to it?” Yes, really. That’s it! To get started, that’s really all you need. Is there more to it? Sure, there is other gear you can get to enhance your setup, and I’ll discuss that later. But to get up and running this really is all you need. Anything else is extra and can raise your recording game, but isn’t necessary to be able to get decent or better recordings at home.

What Computer Do I need?

That said, there are apps that will work on your iPhone, iPad or Android devices. I just received some fantastic tracks that a musician recorded using LogicX on her iPhone. So if you already own an iPad or tablet or other similar device and you’re really trying to keep the budget down, that could well be good enough. I highly recommend a computer, I think it will make your life easier and give you more flexibility, but my point is that it can be done even without one.

Lessons Learned From Remote Recording 82 Musicians

Recently I invited some friends and colleagues to help me remote-record what I thought would be some sweetener & some vocals to a MIDI mock-up for a video I made in support of the Motion Picture & Television Fund COVID 19 Emergency Relief Fund. The response was overwhelming and 82 professional and amateur musicians (myself included) answered the call providing 136 tracks! So much for sweeteners, I had a full symphonic orchestra and choir + rhythm section and lead singers.

Trying to put this all together and make it sound as close to the real thing taught me quite a few lessons, which I think might be helpful to anyone who wishes to record remotely or incorporate remotely recorded musicians into their music. First, watch the video, and please give to MPTF if you can. Then keep scrolling for what I learned.

Before I continue I have to thank each and every musician who participated in this video, the people who helped in various ways, and especially Pam March who edited the video. The picture part of it was a mammoth task of its own, which I’ll discuss ever so briefly at the end of this blog entry.

I’ve divided this blog entry into sections over several pages – the first aimed at musicians who are recording themselves. The next for composers/music editors/producers/mixers who are working with the tracks they receive from the musicians. And finally I briefly touch on video issues for those who want to create videos like this one.

Part 1: Recording Tips

Audio considerations

• This is probably obvious, but use the best gear you can afford. The better your microphone, your mic-pre if you use one, your audio interface, etc. the better your recording can sound. And remember that just because it’s more expensive doesn’t mean it’s better. An amazing and expensive mic that’s great for recording brass might not be ideal for recording guitar. A great mic for guitars might not be the best choice for vocals…
• Another no-brainer, record in the quietest environment you can. Turn off the A/C, shut the fan, make sure the laundry isn’t going in the other room. If you have kids, often it’s best to record after they go to sleep. If you have pets, especially dogs that pant, give them some love and then shut them out of your room. The less extraneous noise, the better the recording will sound.
• Unless you’re recording a solo, don’t get too close to the mic. Actually even if you’re not recording a solo, don’t get too close to the mic. Depending on the kind of mic/setup you have what too close is can be vastly different.
• Don’t get too far from the mic. If you’re too far you’ll introduce more noise into your recording as well as more of the sound of your room, which can make your recording sound hollow.
• Check your levels, you don’t want to be too loud or too soft, though personally I’d rather you be too soft than too loud. I can always raise the volume, but if it’s recorded too loud and has a bit of distortion or no headroom (room to get louder) it’s harder to work with. The problem with too low is that as I raise the volume I’m also raising the volume of the noise floor – that is the room tone or any other noises that may be in the recording.
• You don’t have to nail it in one take. It’s OK to do multiple takes and stitch them together afterwards. If you’ve ever played in a session on a scoring stage you’ve heard “pickup from bar ___”. We stitch together multiple takes all the time, you can, too
• Don’t rely on pitch correction. If you were pitchy or your intonation was a little off (it’s OK, it happens to the best of us), do another take. You don’t even have to do the whole thing, you can just punch in for a few notes.
• When punching in or doing pick-ups always start a few bars before the are you’re re-doing and keep going a few bars past it. I find it’s best to start and end on a musical phrase. You can later only use the bars you need, but trust me it’ll make stitching it all together later easier and sound more natural.
• If you’re a singer, listen for breaths and other mouth noises and reduce them if they’re loud. I don’t recommend eliminating them, that can sound unnatural, but certainly turning breaths down a bit can help. If you don’t do it, I will when I get your track. If you do I either won’t notice, meaning less work for me, or I will and will be grateful for it. But take care not to overdo it. If you’re not sure, leave it alone and let the person receiving the track deal with it.
• When sending your finished tracks back to the composer/mixer/producer, whomever you’re sending them to, make sure they always start at Bar 1. Even if you don’t sing or play until bar 50, make the final audio start at Bar 1. It makes it easy for the person receiving it to handle.
• Always record at the sample and bit rate the project requires. Hopefully the person who hired you told you want. If they didn’t specify, look at the materials they delivered to you and see what settings they used. It’s a pretty safe bet those are the setting they want, but rather than guessing or assuming, ask them.
• Once you’re done stitching together you track bounce it/export it and make sure the settings are still correct. This is a step where if you’re not careful you can accidentally export your track at different settings. Also make sure you export mono recordings as mono tracks. While usable, I find receiving mono recordings as stereo track to be annoying and unnecessary. If you don’t know how to properly bounce out/export mono tracks from your DAW do a Google or YouTube search for “bouncing mono tracks in Logic (or DP or Cubase or whatever)” and you’ll find plenty of tutorials.
• Clearly and succinctly label your tracks. If the person who hired you asked for things to be labeled a certain way, make sure you follow their instructions exactly. If not, I recommend including the project name (usually abbreviated or coded) your name (or initials) the instrument and where the file begins (which we just discussed should be bar 1). For example: MAP Jane Doe – Violin 1 B1.wav (MAP = My Awesome Project, or whatever the project abbreviation is). If you don’t know the project code, initials often work, or just shorten it yourself (i.e. My Aws Proj JD Vn 1 B1.wav).

Video Considerations

• Consider your background. You may want to tidy up a bit. Make sure there’s nothing in the shot that you don’t want others to see.
• Consider the mic placement – you don’t want it to block your face.
• Consider how far away the camera is – if it’s for a multi-box video like the one I made and so many others remember that if you’re far away from the camera you may appear tiny in the final video (I had a picture editor help me and she cropped and zoomed in on most people, but that may not be a possibility)
• If you know how to adjust the video settings on your phone (or GoPro or whatever) ask whomever is receiving the video what their preferred settings are. Find out the frame rate, aspect ratio, image size, etc.
• If you have the ability to trim the video so it begins exactly at bar 1 that can be extremely helpful for whomever will edit a side-by-side style video.
• This next tip may seem silly, but I think it’s probably my most important video note – smile! Hopefully you’re having fun, show it.
• And finally there’s usually time before you start playing to say hi to whomever you’re doing this for, wave for the camera, when you’re done give a big smile or wave, do something. I really appreciated it from those who did and included a bunch of them at the every end of the video. It’s fun, and remember people like to work with you not just because you’re a wonderful musician but because you have a wonderful personality and they enjoy working with you. Since you’re isolated, this is your small opportunity to let that personality shine.

My Thoughts on Hildur Guðnadóttir’s Oscar Win aka How to Genuinely Be Happy for Someone Else’s Accomplishments

Last night Hildur Guðnadóttir won the Oscar for her score to The Joker completing here awards sweep. Clearly this was her year with Emmy, Grammy and World Soundtrack Awards wins for Chernobyl and a whole host of awards including a BAFTA, Critic’s Choice & Golden Globe in addition to her Oscar for Joker. This is a historic achievement for a woman in the entertainment industry. It’s remarkable. She’s been honing her craft working professionally as a composer for about a decade or more and serendipity has shined on her offering her the chance to work on two notable projects, and her excellent work on both has been recognized by her peers. That’s fantastic, it’s the way things should work.

You have talent, you work your ass off, build some credits, which lead to better credits, do amazing work and get recognized for it. That’s the dream. That’s what all of us in this business aspire to, whether we’re actors, directors, cinematographers, writers, costume designers, composers and on and on. We all bust our butts working our way up with the hope and expectation that if we’re good enough and persistent enough we can make a decent career at our craft and if we’re really lucky go farther and be at the top echelon of our field. For some it happens early in their careers, for others late, for many it takes a decade or two and for some it never quite happens.

I feel I have been very fortunate in my career so far. I entered this profession with the hopes of becoming an A-list composer. As things turned out I became a reasonably successful music-editor and have had a pretty good run of it these past 20 or so years. I’ve had some achievements that I never could have dreamed of. I’ve been privileged to work with some of Hollywood’s top talent and on some great projects and have received some recognition for my work along the way, too. Am I where I want to be in my career? Honestly, no, not even close. Am I sometimes jealous of others who seem to be doing better than me? Honestly, yeah, sometimes, a little. But then I immediately remember this very important thing that carries me forward.

If it can happen to them, it can happen to me. If they can do it, so can I.

I’ll say it again. If it can happen to them, it can happen to me. If they can do it, so can I. And that makes me very happy, because whenever anyone else comes out of the shadows and into the spotlight it fills me with renewed hope and possibility that it could happen to me. How awesome is that?

Imagine if we never saw previously unknown talent make it and rise to the top. We never saw other succeed, and the game seems completely rigged so that the A-listers were really the only ones who could be that, and no-one else had a chance. What a depressing thought. Yet every time a new name comes to the fore and is recognized it’s a reminder that the sky is the limit and that (assuming we have enough talent, and a decent personality) as long as we are persistent, luck can and likely will shine on us, too. If it happened to them, it could happen to us. And let’s not forget that all these A-listers started out as complete unknowns, too. But they persisted and worked and pushed until things happened for them.

When I see someone else succeed, especially someone who was previously not well known, I am truly buoyed and energized and filled with joy and happiness for them, because their success is a reminder of what mine could be. If it can happen to them, it can happen to me and that’s a great feeling.

Sadly, I’m disappointed at some of the posts I’ve seen on social media following Hildur’s win. There are those that don’t like her score to Joker and feel someone else should have one. There’s nothing wrong with feeling that way. Music is art and art is subjective. I have felt that way many times. But I don’t see the point of saying that right after someone wins an Oscar or any other accolade. Especially when the tone is denigrating to the winner. What’s the point of such a post? What does it achieve other than making one sound bitter and petty? How does crapping on other people’s success make you look good? If you must perhaps congratulate the winner and then mention your favorite who didn’t win and be their champion. I’ve seen too many posts disparaging her score rather than exalting the one they wish had won. There’s nothing wrong with expressing you thought someone else’s work was deserving of the win, but it can be done in a positive way without needing to demean the other.

And I’ve also seen a bunch of men rush to note that Rachel Portman & Anne Dudley have both won Oscars for their music so Hildur is not the first to win Best Score. They are not entirely wrong, but I think what they are doing is, I presume unintentionally, belittling Hildur’s achievement and how important this moment is for so many women, especially in our field. This is a strictly semantic argument, both Rachel Portman and Anne Dudley won in the Best Musical or Comedy Score category, which was separate from the Best Original Music Score category at the time, and has since been dropped leaving just the singular Best Original Music Score category.

So Hildur is, indeed, the first woman to win for Best Original Music Score. That statement is accurate and does absolutely nothing to diminish or take away the accomplishments of the two women who came before her. But I feel that bringing it up the two previous winners is saying “this isn’t such a big deal” it (again I assume inadvertently) knocks Hildur’s achievement down a notch. Even if the intention is to highlight the success of Dudley & Portman, it comes at the expense of Guðnadóttir when the post simply makes the point that they had previously won.

Hildur’s win is a huge deal not just for her, but for the many aspiring women working in our field who are beginning to make strides. Like Pinar Toprak, Laura Karpman, Germaine Franco, Kathryn Bostic, Sherri Chung and other women composers who are breaking through in a heavily male-dominated field, Hildur Guðnadóttir is a role-model to aspiring women and girls showing them that their dreams of being film/TV composers are possible. And by winning the Academy Award she demonstrates that not only can women succeed, but they can achieve the pinnacle of success. Those of us who have always had role-models may find it difficult to imagine how meaningful it is to see a role-model when there wasn’t one before (or very few).

I don’t have direct analogy to explain my point because women winning an Oscar for music is so rare, but I think this is somewhat akin to it. Imagine if when Alexandre Desplat won his well-deserved first Oscar for The Grand Budapest Hotel the press and other French people made a big deal of a French man winning the Oscar. And immediately people came out to point out that Ludovic Bource and Maurice Jarre and Michel Legrand and Georges Delerue and Francis Lai and Maurice Jarre had all come before him. Not a word of praise for Desplat, just “what about all these French men that won previously?”

Again, this isn’t a perfect analogy, but I just can’t imagine this happening. Yet for some reason when a woman wins in the age of #metoo and female empowerment these types of posts are everywhere. To what purpose?

We all stand on the shoulders of those who came before us. We all have our own opinions, thoughts, preferences and feelings about everything, including who should have won last night. But why do some of us find it necessary to divert the spotlight away from the winner rather than bask in the glow? I just don’t see the purpose in it. I may take some flak for calling out my colleagues on this, but I just don’t understand the need for negativity.

Remember, if they can do it, so can I. So be happy for them for their accomplishments, relish in their success because one day it will be yours and I’m sure you wouldn’t want anyone taking away from your success.

Scoring Films On a Shoestring Budget

The following was prepared as a companion to the SCL seminar I gave on 11/05/19, and expands on some of the things discussed during the event. You can watch a recording of the live stream of the event on YouTube and/or just keep scrolling and read this blog. I hope you find something of value here that helps you on your musical journey. Feel free to reach out with any questions.

PART 1
INTRODUCTION

Defining a shoestring budget

Any project that has a budget that is significantly lower than the scope of the work would normally require. This can range from scoring a project for free to 6 figures, depending on the circumstances. Creating an electronic score for a feature film for just $1,000 or creating an orchestral score requiring a 70 minutes of music recorded live with an 80 piece orchestra for just $100,000 package deal would both qualify. Each is woefully under-budgeted for the work required to achieve the desired result.

Reasons for taking a shoestring budget project

There are many reasons to take a shoestring project. Depending on where you are your career and life, the reasons to say yes may change. Reasons that were appealing earlier in your career may no longer hold the same appeal later in your career. Reason’s that may seem unattractive when you’re going through an extremely busy period may seem more attractive during a slow period. There is no right or wrong answer nor is there a formula when deciding whether or not to take such a project. It’s an individual choice that depends on a variety of variables.

Some reasons to take a shoestring budget project may include:

• Gaining experience
• Building a relationship with a new filmmaker
• Maintaining a relationship with an existing client
• Favor for a filmmaker
• Building one’s reel
• Building one’s library
• Personal fulfillment
• Artistic expression
• Stretching oneself creatively or technically (or both)
• Opportunity to do something new
• Practice one’s skills
• Potential for awards
• Potential for exposure
• Test out new software or hardware
• Test out a new workflow/team
• Build a team and learn to work with them
• Nothing better to do at the time
• Money/Royalties
  By definition, this is usually not a very good reason to take on a shoestring budget project, though perhaps there’s enough money to make it worth while or the anticipated royalties make it worth while financially.

How to survive while working on a shoestring budget project

Get a job! Particularly early in your career, making your living from scoring films/TV may not be a realistic immediate goal. So get a job that covers you cost of living, and score projects whenever you can – nights, weekends, etc. Your job may be completely unrelated to the world of media scoring, or you may work as a composer’s assistant or as an orchestrator, or music editor, or some other related job. Either way focus as much of your free time on scoring your own projects as you can.

If you’re very fast, you might be able to do a sufficient number of shoestring projects to earn enough money to cover your bills. Or perhaps build (or join) a team that works together so you’re able to work on enough projects to make ends meet.

When I first went freelance I got a job in construction. I would be on the construction site at 5:00 am, work until 3:00 pm, then head home and hustle and/or score short films and whatever else I could get until about midnight or 1:00 am, then I’d sleep for a few hours and do it all over again. Weekends were great because I could spend even more time looking for work or writing than I could during the week and even catch up on some sleep.

Early in my career I worked for a post-production facility where I would put in 50-80 hours a week. In addition I would score short films I got on my own whenever I could, often pulling all-nighters, or spending my entire weekend working on those. When I wasn’t working on my own projects I’d write music for the facility’s in-house music library for use in TV shows we worked on. Things I wrote for free (and had to give up all the publishing and share writing credit with the owners) nearly 20 years ago are still generating royalties today!

When you have income, make sure you save aggressively. If you’re not getting paid through a traditional employer (W-2) make sure you set money aside for taxes, and in addition set aside money for savings. I recommend building up 9-12 months worth of living expenses in your savings before you upgrade your life in any meaningful way. And then make sure you adjust your savings strategy to match your new cost of living. Building up that savings cushion will allow you to manage slow periods, as well as invest in yourself when you need to. More importantly, it’ll provide peace of mind.

Know your limits

You must always assess your skills, abilities and resources (including the project’s budget and your savings and your availability) when deciding whether or not to take a project. When assessing a new project, make sure you keep things within the scope of what you can do well. It’s good bite off a bit more than you can chew, it’s how we grow, but beware of taking too big a bite and choking. Trying to go beyond what you can reasonably handle can lead to failure – whether it means the production quality will suffer, you won’t be able to meet the schedule (or it’ll take too long in general), or you’ll blow your budget.

Failure an tarnish your reputation and undermine your progress. It’s extremely important for your clients to be thrilled not only with the end result, but with the entire experience, that’s how you earn recommendations and referrals, as well as earn repeat business. Remember former clients can potentially go on to bigger and better projects, and if they like working with you they’re more likely to call you again. They’re also more likely to refer you to their colleagues and speak well of you.

When agreeing to a project make sure what is required is in line with your abilities and limitations (skill, budget and/or schedule) and that you can meet the filmmaker’s expectations. Make sure the reverse is true and that the project as well as the filmmakers meet your expectations. It’s not unusual for filmmakers to have unreasonable expectations and you may need to educate them on what’s realistic within their limitations.

Discuss expectations before starting and make sure the filmmakers and you are al on the same page. Discuss whether or not the budget is realistic for what they want. If it isn’t discuss alternative approaches that are realistic within the given limitations. Discuss the schedule and whether or not it is realistic. Are you available to do the work within the given amount of time? Will the schedule require bringing on help? If so do you already have a team or do you need to build one? Does the budget support bringing in help?

For example, when director Dax Phelan & I discussed scoring his film Jasmine, he wanted very little music, but he was referencing scores that used large orchestras and were very aleatoric, which wasn’t something we could do considering the lack of budget. I came up with the idea of an electronic score, completely changing the musical approach. I wrote a couple of demos to show him what I had in mind and he liked them so we moved forward. The more I wrote, the more music he wanted until we had a version of the film with wall-to-wall music. We later removed a lot of the music as sound-design came into the picture. That score ended up pushing me technically and creatively, which was extremely gratifying despite the lack of budget, and both the film and the score went on to win several awards, which is always very humbling and validating.

Working with filmmakers

Keep in mind that most of these projects will involved inexperienced filmmakers. More experienced ones have likely worked their way up and are working with bigger budgets. But you may be working with a very experienced or established filmmaker working on a passion project with limited funds. Whatever the case, be aware of their situation and keep it in mind whenever interacting with them

Inexperienced filmmakers often have insecurities. This may be their first film and they’re learning as they go, or they don’t yet have the comfort and confidence that comes with working with a familiar team. They may appear very confident and in control yet still be less self-assured than they let on. In my experience many filmmakers feel quite a bit of uncertainty when it comes to music. Be sensitive to this, especially when issues or problems arise, or when they are indecisive or struggle to explain what they want, or what isn’t quite working for them.

Always remember that writing film/TV music is not about the music, it’s about the story being told. Your job is to help the filmmaker tell their story their way. The trick is to give them what they want, even when they don’t know what they want, and ideally do it in your own unique voice.

When discussing the score, remember that most filmmakers are not musicians. They likely don’t know or understand musical terminology and some may misidentify instruments. Don’t talk in musical terms, but isntead talk about story, mood, pace, emotion, drama, colors, textures and so on. It’s your job to translate all of those things into music, not the filmmaker’s. If the filmmaker uses musical terminology, mirror what they’re saying in non-musical terms to make sure they’re not misusing musical jargon and giving you bad direction.

I remember when I was in school one of my instructors recalled working with a director who kept asking for a cue to be more dissonant. He rewrote the cue two or three times, each time making it more and more dissonant, to the point where he was concerned that it no longer works as well emotionally. When he played that second or third revision the director complained that the music was no longer working, but it still wasn’t dissonant enough. My instructor asked, “what do you mean by more dissonant?” The director responded “You know, faster!” I’ve never had as extreme an experience as that, but I’ve had filmmakers misidentify instruments or use musical terminology incorrectly.

Another thing to consider is that the filmmakers have a myriad other things they are dealing with in addition to the score. And if the filmmakers are inexperienced, they’re likely equally inexperienced in all departments, not just music, so they have a lot going on. Make sure that whenever they interact with you it is a pleasant experience and that you are providing solutions to their musical problems, not creating new problems.

Sometimes there are multiple filmmakers involved, with diverging tastes and agendas. If that’s the case identify who has the final say – that’s the person you ultimately need to make sure your’e pleasing first and foremost. Usually that person will be whomever is holding the purse strings. However don’t ignore the rest of the filmmakers. You don’t want to alienate them.

Keep in mind that they have likely been on the project much longer than you and have been dealing with their differing sensibilities on multiple fronts for some time. You want them on your side, you want to try to build consensus through honest discussion. Rather than picking sides, always let the project dictate what you think is best and argue for that. If you can’t get them all on the same page, offer to present more than one version to address the differing approaches. Sometimes the best way to prove a point is to just show them and it becomes obvious.

Finally, I’ve been asked how to deal with difficult filmmakers. It’s my opinion that there’s really no such thing as a difficult filmmaker. If there is difficulty dealing with a filmmaker it’s usually the result of mismatched expectations and/or poor communication. A little understanding and empathy for their situation can go a long way towards overcoming obstacles, foster better communication and lead to finding good solutions and aligning expectations. That said, sometimes you may simply not be the right fit for this filmmaker and/or project. Sometimes we just don’t really click. If that’s the case you still want to do the best you can to improve communication and get the job done well. They may not hire you again and this may not be the beginning of the next Spielberg-Williams collaboration, but you certainly don’t want to alienate them and risk them speaking ill about you.

What to do when you don’t know what to do

Sometimes you may just hit the wall and not know how to deal with a situation. This could be a creative impasse, an interpersonal one, a political one, or a situational one. Whatever the case, you can always ask your friends and colleagues for advice. Talk to your partner, or reach out to a trusted friend and run things by them. If you’re working as an assistant and feel comfortable doing so, ask your boss for advice. If you don’t have someone you can reach out to personally, there are many online forums and resources where you can either find answers to similar questions, or ask your question.

If the problem is creative and you just don’t know what to write, use temp score to help figure it out. And if you have no idea where to even start, just start anywhere. Literally anywhere – grab a song, a classical piece, a soundtrack you have handy and play it against the scene that’s giving you trouble. Even if it’s completely wrong, it’ll be very illuminating because it will become clear what about it is wrong. Do this a few times and in no time you’ll have a very good idea of what not to do, which in turn leads to what you should do.